Thoughts On Protecting My Children Online

Yesterday Luke was asking all sorts of questions about his "baby Wes" and we started to talk about how Luke was once a little, tiny baby. Tiny enough to fit in my belly! His face lit up and his eyes began to twinkle.

"Do you want to see pictures of yourself when you were a baby and in mommy's belly?" I asked him.

"YEAH!!!" he replied.

So, he sat in my lap and we scrolled through all of my old blog entries—all the way from having a baby bump, to the eensy-weensy newborn pictures, to the first time he started walking. In that moment, I realized I have captured so many incredible moments and firsts I would have otherwise brushed to the side in my mind, where they would collect cobwebs and become hazy memories. I am so grateful I have kept this blog and put the time and energy it takes to photograph all the moments and write out all the feelings.

However, there is a darker side to putting your life out there on the internet. Lately, so many of my blogging friends who are mothers have had their children's photos stolen and used for creepy, fake role-play accounts. And who knows what other hellish ways those photos are being warped and inappropriately used. I cannot even begin to let my mind go there.

But, all of this has me seriously contemplating where I stand on blasting photos of Luke and Wes onto the internet. I find so much joy in sharing our life—the tender and sweet times, and the frustrating, I-want-to-rip-my-hair out times. I love being able to be a voice for issues to which many mothers and women deeply feel and relate, but may be too afraid to say on their own.

Where do I draw the line? When do I pull the plug?

These are questions I ask myself every day. I have thought a grip load about how I can share those personal feelings and moment as a mother, but keep Luke and Wesley's life a little more secure and private. This is after all a mom blog, and obviously I am a mother because of them, but I feel like there is a way to keep the focus more about how I feel about this stage of motherhood, versus it being all about the boys' lives.

Am I making any sense? I feel like this is such a sticky subject of debate. There is the whole side of, "the world is full of ugliness and cruelty, and you shouldn't shelter yourself and your children because of it—share your life if that's what makes you happy and realize life needs to continue on and don't let the junk get to you." And then there is the opposing side of, "the world is too open now and it is your number one priority to make sure your children are not out there AT ALL if you care about them—you are a crap parent if you disagree."

You picking up what I am putting down here? I am so torn. Like I said, I love sharing our life, but the more these gross things happen the more inclined I am to put a halt on that aspect of it. There was a wonderful article written here about how to share your life while keeping your kid's protection in mind, and I really like the points that were made. I am trying to put them into practice and be more mindful of what types of pictures I post to Instagram and here on the blog. I absolutely refuse to post photos of them anymore where they are solely in their diaper or underwear, or without a shirt. I am trying to focus more on taking photos which only partially show their faces if they are the only one in the picture, and I really try to make it a point to be in the pictures with them if we are all smiling and looking at the camera. (Apparently those are less targeted?)

Either way, I care about their safety. I don't want them growing up with some weird complex or hating me for putting their lives out for the world to see without their permission. I am not going to stop blogging or make any hard and fast declarations about never posting another picture of my boys again. But I am going to be more careful about specific things I say about them and be more thoughtful of the pictures I do post of them. I feel good about that in my heart and know it is the right thing to do for our family.

So, I am curious about your thoughts on this. Are you a mom? Do you have nieces and nephews who are out there? How do you feel about children's pictures being shared on social media, even if it is just a private account? I am really interested to know the different viewpoints on this matter, so don't hold anything back! Let's talk about this. It's something that needs to be discussed!

Also, thank you for coming back here to read my blog again and again. I truly do cherish the friendships I have made with you and I love the happy side of this online community. There is much goodness to be shared! Thanks for supporting that. Lots of love and hugs to you, and you, and you!

My New Year's Resolution: Focus

This 2014 year was good to me. I decided to make a change and use a single word to define the goal for my year. That word was intention. My thoughts on how I did? I am quite pleased with how it turned out.

I was sick of lying around and wasting my days. Being homebound is an obvious side effect of having an infant and a two year old, but I wanted my days to be more full, more meaningful. Intention was the perfect companion to those dull, and sometimes frustrating, days.

We thoughtfully went out and explored new places. I was able to expand my library and acquaint myself with new literature and music. I finally let myself let go of toxic feelings and people in my life. I worked really hard to find new opportunities in blogging and I feel like I achieved that. Conversely, I (kinda, sorta) learned how to unplug myself from technology without feeling guilt or impulse. (But I am still working on it!) We even moved to fulfill our needs for our growing family.

Like I said, 2014 really was a wonderful year. There were mounds of amazing growth, personally and as a family. And I look forward to carrying over my goals under the umbrella of intention into a new concept for 2015...

Focus.

All of those ideas and adventures I experienced were incredible, and I really learned how to seek after the things I want in life. I found a quote a few years ago, and it stuck out to me as a motto to live by, "In order to lead a fascinating life—one brimming with art, music, intrigue, and romance—you must surround yourself with precisely those things." So here I am! I am surrounding myself with the things I want in life. But it seems a little... messy? Chaotic? I feel like there were so many things I wanted to do that much of it got lost. They were buried deep in the thick of journals scribbled with thoughts and calendars unrealistically packed with events and deadlines.

This year is about highlighting the things that matter and applying a tack sharp focus on how to go about living a purposeful life "brimming with art, music, intrigue and romance." My time with Luke and Wes will be more attentive and less full of distractions. My relationship with Matt will be nurtured more and I will work to put down my phone or iPad and be completely present when we are watching a movie together or out on a date.

I am going to blog with more focus, too. This might mean I will be posting more of what I love. Whether it's a post full of photographs (something that has turned into a love and hobby for me) from a day discovering new places, or me writing out the innermost parts of my brain and heart, I want it to be meaningful. I want to share more of my thoughts on how I really feel about life and the things around me without being afraid of people thinking I am an idiot or a stark, raving lunatic. And I don't want to be apologetic for who I am. I am absolutely SICK of blog stats and dissecting my analytics reports. Seriously. Is it really going to matter how many visitors I had in 2015 when 2035 rolls around? I really don't think so. I am absolutely appreciative that this blog is able to bring in some extra income for our family, and it is not possible without that side of things, but I also feel that the glossy effect of commercials and magazines has slowly crept its way in to social media and blogs. And honestly, I don't know if that's all I ever want to see, or create. I love creating posts with content that is useful, but I want to know and show that people still bleed, and cry and are real.

I suppose the optimal word I am reaching for here is "relatable." That's why I do this. I want to find people like me. And chances are that if you are reading this, you are like me! In fact, I know we would be marvelous friends in real life! And that's what life is really all about. Relationships. To quote the great Maya Angelou, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Here is to living with focus. Here is to intently concentrating on the moment. And here is to connecting with people in a genuine, conscientious way.

(Image source)

It's Time For A Reader Survey

photo found here

Hi, guys. The time has come. The time for a reader survey, that is. You see, I'm at a point in my blogging where I need some help from all of you terrific people that make up the awesome community of readers at Along Abbey Road. I've been battling an inner struggle, which looks a little something like this...

"Do I post a survey and start creating content based on what my readers want? Or do I keep writing about whatever the crap I want because this is my space (remember MySpace? Yikes!) on the internet and so be it if everyone hates it?"

Well, turns out I do care what you want to hear and read because I LOVE YOU. I want to bring you the ultimate reading experience based on your interests from the categories I've been writing about for the past few years; the stuff that makes you want to continue coming back for more and share it with every single person you know! It will also help me target better sponsors and giveaways that are relevant to your needs and wants. I am pretty busy being a mom to two small children if you haven't noticed, and it would help to get some guidance to create a posting schedule of some sort as well.

I think after blogging for three years, it's time to put my big girl pants on and give this space something more. It's time for Along Abbey Road to spread its wings and fly, don't you think? Everyone has a story to tell, and I think mine is a good one.

So, would you do me the honors of taking a minute of your time to fill out the survey below? It's only nine questions and I pinky promise it will only take you one minute, or 30 seconds even! The survey is totally anonymous and the information collected is for my eyes only. I really appreciate, friends! Thanks again for all of your love and support! xo

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