I Wouldn't Trade It For Anything

This is how a typical day looks for us. These candid shots are who we are. 

Luke stomping around sans clothes. Chairs tipped on their sides because someone thinks it's awesome and oh-so-hilarious to climb on the kitchen table and pretend its a trampoline. Reading books and stretching out in the sunshine peeking through the window.

I need to be better about capturing these standard, yet beautiful moments. With this pregnancy, things have kind of rushed by in a whirlwind. In a way I have been better at being present with Luke, but with that I've dropped using my camera as often and heavily rely on Instagram snaps to journal my days with Luke. That's all fine and dandy, but I love getting these priceless photos of little Lukey. They are perfection. And this is how I want to remember my days with him. Not perfectly posed shots, but silly, upside-down, diaper-only pictures. With a runny nose and bananas smashed in his hair. Boys are dirty and crazy, especially this little guy, and I just adore him. 

With that, I wonder about this baby in my belly. Who is she or he? What will they be like? Will they be calm and interactive like Luke, or high-energy and incredibly shy? Will Luke and Numero Dos be best buds? Or those siblings that have a love/hate relationship? Are these things that result as a matter of how Matt and I parent, or is it nature taking its course (that damned "nature vs. nurture" debate... it seriously has me in worry-wart mother fits)? Clearly, I am most likely over-thinking things a bit much, but I just want to be a good parent. There is obviously no such thing as the perfect parent, but I want my kids to feel encouraged, inspired, and unafraid to conquer the world. To feel loved and be able to accomplish extraordinary things based on their own insights and opinions because we allowed them to be their own individual, as a result of teaching them to have love, respect, and integrity for those in the world around them.

Being a parent is a tough gig. Sometimes I question myself and think, "why did I ever decide to get married and have kids?" I'd be lying if I said I never think that. Dwelling on the days of uninterrupted bliss is dreamy when I'm hiding in the bathroom from Luke for a breather because he has been screaming and crying all day. The hormones raging through my pregnant body (but really, they are truly raging, having a straight up rave in my brain) obviously add to my craziness and pity party-ness. 

But then I feel this baby give a little kick and a flutter, and Luke puckers up to give me one of his famous "mooo-wah" kisses. And I melt into a puddle of hormonal tears and don't even know where to begin with saying my prayers of gratitude for these delicate, amazing souls with which we've been abundantly and specifically blessed.

And that's the moment I realize I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world.