To Do And Not To Do

Mustard headband: Sprightly So. Blouse: LOFT. Cardi: LOFT. Baby bump: 38 weeks.

My new favorite way to wear my hair: the retro side bun.

This is my awkward transition face. Can you see the aging that's happening as a result of growing a human? I guess my sister was right... pregnancy causes wrinkles! AAAHHH!

Child birth is getting closer everyday, peeps. Belly has dropped, making it even more huge, and I'm at the point where people in public just stare at me with no shame. 

After some thought, I've decided it would be best for all parties if I compiled a go-to list of the do's and don'ts of dealing with pregnant women. You may find this resourceful if you yourself have never had a bun in the oven or if you are a man. If you are a sleep-deprived,  crazy mom, you can just nod your head and agree. 

-Do hold the door open for pregnant ladies. Sometimes the inertia of pulling open a door while your center of gravity has shifted to an awkward middle region can result in running into things or falling over.

-Do not stare. Seriously. I know we all like to look and think, "Aww, look at the cute baby bump!", but that's not how the prego monster on the other end of it feels. She probably feels something more like this... "Is my fly down? Do I have pen marks on my face or something? Why the crap is this person maddoggin' me?"

-Do give short and succinct compliments if you can't resist the urge. Something along the lines of, "I just want to tell you I think you are the most beautiful pregnant woman" is nice. More than that can get annoying and seem more sympathetic than complimentary.

-Do not try to guess how far along someone is and use it as a conversation starter. Everyone's body is different. Everyone carries their babies differently. Don't tell me I'm having a boy or a girl based on this observation. I know what I'm having, I don't need your "expert" advice.

-Do be patient and remain calm if a pregnant person is curt with you. Or has a sudden breakdown. Remember, it's not you, it's the hormones. Reacting in a hostile manner will only increase the irrational behavior from the mama bear.

 These are just the most important things I have encountered, but the list could go on for days. I think it's a very handy list. Feel free to print it out and carry it in your wallet. After all, half the people these days are with child. Feel free to add on your do's and don'ts as well. 

By the way, I have a guest post up today at Across The Pond, detailing the story of how I got into this pregnant state in the first place. It's quite a funny story. You should probably go read it.

And one more thing. Go here to enter my $25 Anthropologie gift card giveaway if you haven't already!

That is all. This is Abbey signing out. Goodbye.