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Along Abbey Road | A Lifestyle And Family Blog : Coming To Grips With Having A C-Section

10.23.2013

Coming To Grips With Having A C-Section


This morning I woke up feeling okay with the way this pregnancy is looking to end. 

Today marks 37 weeks, which is "full term" if we are speaking technically. I cannot believe we are already at this pregnancy milestone! Where oh where did you go, time? It is coming to a close, and a close I was not anticipating, but one I have finally met with peace.

A few weeks ago, I talked about my concerns and fears about baby boy being breech, especially the frightening reality of a c-section that goes along with the breech presentation. Well, guess what? He is still as breech as they come, little head tucked squarely in between my ribs. I can just picture him straight as a board, feet rigid and maintaining his post. We've a mini soldier in this womb! Of course, this means a c-section is now planned. In 16 days to be exact.

My thoughts? 

I am completely and absolutely okay with it. All those fears and apprehensions have melted into an overflowing feeling of calmness and security. 

We had originally planned to do ECV, but that was actually the thing giving me the most anxiety. A mother's intuition -- you just gotta trust it in those questionable moments. I don't know, I suppose that tiny inward voice kept badgering me, saying, "Abbey, there is a reason he is breech -- don't mess around with this. Let him be." Once I accepted the reality of this urging, instead of the need to be in control to ensure the ideal birth experience, everything just felt right. Even if it didn't seem right according to my neatly, perfectly packaged birth plan. You know, the one that was supposed to be totally natural and unmedicated, complete with hypnobirthing and the ultimate expression of, "I am woman, hear me roar!" That whole bag of tricks. But you know what? All of that expectation and judgment in regard to childbirth needs to be thrown out the window. 

Honestly, I am tired of the pressure and preconceived notions of how people should bring their babies into the world. You like having your babies in a tub in the middle of your living room floor? You go for it! Epidurals are your best friend and you completely believe in them? More power to you! You actually prefer to have scheduled c-sections over vaginal deliveries? I don't see anything wrong with that either! Having your baby this way or that way doesn't and shouldn't make anyone more awe-inspiring, or conversely, make them feel inadequate. A good mother is one who trusts her instincts, knows her body and mental limitations, and does what is best for baby and family. The fact that a woman makes the sacrifice to be dubbed with the title of "mother" is the victory and beauty in all of it. 

So, yes. I have come to grips with having a c-section, instead of demonizing the mere thought of it and submitting myself to subconscious guilt from outward pressure and influence of the "natural" childbirth movement. It is how God is intending this boy to enter the world, and at the end of the day I just have to let go and remember who is really in charge. I am replacing my faith with fear, and that faith has finally set me free.

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15 Comments:

At October 23, 2013 at 10:52 AM , Blogger Danielle Carroll said...

Loved this post, Abbey! And good for you! It really doesn't matter how the baby is brought into this world as long as he and momma are safe. Like you originally, I too plan on having a natural birth, but I'm only 22 weeks and who know what will happen by the time baby's ready to come! If I need a c-section, or if I simply cannot take the pain and choose the epidural route I don't see why that should be an issue. Women can be so mean and narrow minded about the birth experience --their way or the highway-- but really, every birth and every baby are so unique! It will be a beautiful journey no matter the means by which he enters the world! Thinking of you!!

 
At October 23, 2013 at 11:17 AM , Blogger Chriseda said...

Best of luck with it and GO FOR IT... As long as that baby is healthy and you do good !!!

 
At October 23, 2013 at 12:15 PM , Blogger Wendy said...

I totally agree, so sick of all the discussion about how to best birth! Bottom line is that you gave birth, it won't matter after anyway how they got here just that they did. I'm sure you have received lots of advice, but I can't help but give my two cents since I ended up having an emergency c-section and there are a few things I wish I had known. (I read every birth and pregnancy book on the planet to be prepared for birth but I was sure I wasn't going to have a c-section so I always skipped those parts. Sigh.)
1. The worst part is the shoulder pain after from air bubbles leaving your body; you won't want to move but walk/hobble around as much as you can as soon as you can and you will have less bubbles or none at all.
2. Wear a recovery wrap/bandage. If the hospital doesn't give you one (mine didn't but friends did) go buy a big old ace bandage and have the hubs wrap around you every day. Helps so much with rolling over and keeps you from feeling like your guts are falling out.
3. If you have to sneeze or cough or laugh, use a pillow and put pressure on the incision befor e you do. I learned this the hard way with coughing.
4. TMI but I wish I would have known! My incision started leaking and I freaked out and thought it was infected, but apparently it's really normal for a lot of people and is only infected if it has an odor. Could have saved me an instacare co pay.
5. Stairs make one sore...avoid the first few weeks if you can.

You will do great! I think there are some pros to c sections; you know when baby is coming, your girly parts don't get torn to bits, and some docs will do a little tummy tuck when they stitch you back up (best results if you do that on your final delivery). ;) Best wishes!

 
At October 23, 2013 at 12:24 PM , Blogger Shannon Boyce said...

The only important thing is that the baby is healthy - not how they come into the world! I'm so glad that you're feeling positive! :)
the-creationofbeauty.blogspot.com

 
At October 23, 2013 at 12:29 PM , Blogger Offer KINDNESS. Choose GENEROSITY. Give LOVE! said...

You can do this.
You can ALL handle this. I know you can.
I'm due a few weeks after you so feel I've been following along a similar journey... but we aren't breech at this point.
Whatever happens you will adjust and do it perfectly.
Good luck! Wishing you well.

 
At October 23, 2013 at 12:39 PM , Blogger Lottie Simm said...

as long as your baby is healthy and happy then it doesn't matter about the birth, that is my two cents anyway.

good luck and i can't wait to see photos of him :)

 
At October 23, 2013 at 1:05 PM , Blogger Natalie Fish said...

Can't wait to see the little guy! The day my sister was born and I was no longer an only child, was the best day of my life. It's the coolest thing ever!

 
At October 23, 2013 at 1:09 PM , Blogger Jessica Holly said...

in my opinion, all mothers are warriors!! You carried that baby for nine (ish) months and now you're bringing him into the world the best way you can! I can't wait to meet the handsome little guy!

 
At October 23, 2013 at 1:29 PM , Blogger JanM ā™„ said...

Wishing you and the baby the best of luck! I'm really excited for you. I was born through a C-Sec and hey, everything is fine on our end. :)

JanLoves

 
At October 23, 2013 at 2:48 PM , Blogger Elizabeth said...

I was born c-section because I liked to "dance" when I heard music! Danced for 17 years! My head was beautifully shaped and not cone-headed. My mom was able to have my sister VBAC but we were 5 years apart. She also did it without meds...I don't know if I'm that brave! I haven't had babies and it'll be a while before I do, but I've always been proud of being born from a c-section!

 
At October 23, 2013 at 10:02 PM , OpenID trinketsandtalmud said...

I am so glad that you published this post. We need all women to feel comfortable with their birthing options, their feeding options, their child raising options. You have just got to do what's right for you and your baby. Thanks so much for sharing!

 
At October 24, 2013 at 8:23 AM , Blogger Samantha Jo said...

Good for you! Best of luck with your delivery (however it ends up happening!) and prayers for a healthy mommy and baby :) Congratulations in advance!!

 
At October 25, 2013 at 5:29 AM , Blogger Flora and Fauna said...

I couldn't agree with you more my dear. After having had a baby and seeing many of my friends and family deal with very severe complications I could care less about the "birth experience." It's all about having a healthy baby and keeping mama healthy too. Sometimes I feel that this gets lost in all the hypnobirthing, homebirthing, etc hype. Good for you! And for the record, according to my cousin, c-section postpartum is SO much easier so you have that to look forward to! :) Will keep you in my thoughts! xo

 
At October 25, 2013 at 11:04 AM , Blogger Kelly Rae said...

I feel for you and the whole idea of the birth plan. I definitely didn't get my birth plan either and it was something I had to come to terms with in mere minutes. And Yay for getting to hold your little one in your arms soon :)

 
At October 28, 2013 at 8:44 PM , Blogger Emma Frances said...

I think it is so important to come to grips with our decisions when it comes to birth. Things do change and are out of our control but that doesn't mean that God's hand wasn't in it. I think whatever women want out of their birth experience is what they should have. It is a big, important, exciting thing and yes, the ultimate outcome is a healthy mom and baby but a happy mom is also important. And feeling at peace with a decisions in regards to birth is so important!

 

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