The Man Pony

 images via here, here, here, here and here

The man pony. Also known as a man ponytail, man bun, mun, etc. Call it what you like, but I like the way man pony sounds. Something very masculine, abrupt and intentional about it, much like a man with a ponytail or bun. You may quarrel, "How exactly is a man pony masculine? They have GIRL HAIR." I am here to convince you they are truly amazing and not grotesque. I am on the errand of every man bun and pony sauntering around Brooklyn in some angsty plight against the world. Just give them a chance before you snub your nose in turn for a buzz cut.

First off, many a good man ponies are accompanied by the gnarliest of beards. Beards are the reigning champion of masculine representation. We have Paul Bunyan, Abe Lincoln, Tom Selleck, Zach Galifianakis. What would they be without that strapping display of facial hair? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Nobody would take them seriously. Remember Noah's sweet, clean-shaven baby face in The Notebook? Remember how he grows the hairiest of beards to show he's suddenly a man with serious man business? This post about the pony is turning into beards. Let's get back on track...

There's a good chance a man with a ponytail is a yoga instructor. Translation: inviting the man pony into your life could open the door to a toned body and a peaceful, more centered you. Perhaps you and said yoga instructor could be styling your hair in top knots together at some point, creating a whole new wave of couples sharing the same hair style.

Nowadays, gents wearing their hair in a bun or ponytail have a knack for style. They sport some drool-wrothy outfits, making the man pony/beard combo thing look feverishly sexy. Ever heard of Johnny Depp? He looks awful without long hair or lack of some sort of wisps of hair on the face thing going on. Okay, not awful, but not jaw-dropping. I am now going to take the only moment I may ever have again to talk about Justin Bobby. Man's got style (or he did anyway). May not have a brain, but he's a good-looking sun of a gun. And he possibly might have sported my favorite man bun of all time. Although, I am now beginning to realize that mentioning Justin Bobby just shot my case for the man pony to hells bells. Let's just rebut that with the fact that Karl Lagerfeld wears a man pony. There is no arguing there. Sorry. Case dismissed

The kicker: what do you think of the man pony/bun? Love it? Hate it? Meh?