Quit Judging And Start Parenting

After reading this article written by a friend who writes the parents.com blog, Great Expectations, I took a step back to examine not just my birth story, but how I parent. I guess I should say how we parent, since Matt is an integral part of this whole parenting strategy, which is an entirely foreign concept to us. But, I think we are getting the hang of it, even if it means letting my baby take a nap in his jumper.

Sure, we do things that aren't by the book. Yes, we feed Luke to sleep. A habit started from the time I nursed him as a newborn. I stopped nursing him at 6 1/2 months, and he now takes formula exclusively. Do I feel bad about that? Sometimes, yes, but I think it is more out of fear of judgment that somehow I am not "doing what's best" for my baby by, heaven forbid, giving him formula.

We don't let Luke cry it out, and attend his needs whenever he is fussy or crying. I remember times of anxiety and stress as a little girl, and the instant, warm calm that washed over me as soon as my mom's caring face appeared. I can only imagine that is how Luke feels, even if he is crying because he doesn't want to go to sleep. We work through it until he is content with the notion that it is time for bed. 

The belief that holding your children too much will spoil them doesn't exist around here. If Luke crawls up to our legs, yanking our pants to be held, we hold and kiss that little man until he can't stand it anymore.

I believe in letting my baby explore the world around him, therefore I don't fuss over Luke getting into the dirt or whatnot. He's a boy. That's what they do. I try to prevent him from eating dog poo and the likes, though ;)

We let Luke watch kid friendly cartoons (yes, that means TV -- gasp!), try not to make a big fuss when he falls and hurts himself, and smile and laugh with him as much as possible.

Like the article mentioned above, we should celebrate our successes and the choice we made to be parents, instead of giving the side-eye and casting our judgments in the parenting decisions of others (and obviously, there are abhorrent situations of abuse and neglect, but I am not speaking of those terribly unfortunate circumstances). The entire story and truth of a situation is never visible to a third party observer, so spitting out opinions is futile. Every child possesses a unique character and set of needs, and we are the ones that know our children best, right? As long as we are putting our best foot forward every day with our kid's ultimate interest in mind, this whole nutty parenting thing somehow works itself out. And according to those wise old folks we call grandmas and grandpas, somewhere in the middle of it all, we reap the rewards of understanding life just a little better.