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Along Abbey Road | A Lifestyle And Family Blog : 10 Ways To Quickly Improve Your Relationship

10.29.2014

10 Ways To Quickly Improve Your Relationship



I think a lot about love, and feelings, and anything pertaining to romantic relationships. I was that little girl who obsessed over the love plots of Disney movies, and I am still that girl who cares way too much about celebrity love triangles and the romantic happenings in the lives of my friends and family. It's all about love, after all. Unfortunately, I can get a little cranky and negative in my own relationship with Matt sometimes. (I know, it even happens to us hopeless romantics.) So, I wanted to share some wonderful tips I found in this article from Time, which gives ten ways you can instantly improve your relationship. I've been trying them out, and hey! They work! Especially for us boring, old married couples ;)

1. Turn off your gadgets! Studies have found that there is a negative correlation between heavy use of social media and happiness in a relationship. Also, text messaging can convolute conversations that should be done in person. I personally think excessive social media use can cause unnecessary envy and comparison, which can lead to all sorts of personal problems, and can easily carry over into relationships. I've been trying to spend less time on my phone and extinguish the incessant need to update my whereabouts and give the play-by-play of every detail in my life. My initial fear was that I would be missing out on documenting my life and in turn forget all of the wonderful, ordinary things that make my life so happy. But, it turns out I am enjoying my life more thoroughly instead of living with anxiety in fear of missing out on capturing everything, and my memories are more meaningful. Matt appreciates it, too.

2. Go to bed at the same time. People who sleep less than the recommended amount of time each night have been shown to argue more with their significant other. Plus, it is oftentimes the one point in the day where you get to see each other one on one. I suppose I should take this advice to heart. I am a night owl — always have been, no matter how hard I try to go to bed early! Although, I could not agree more that good sleep is the solution to many of life's problems. We're all just grouchy because we need sleep! You know the "Be nice, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" quote? We need to change it to, "Be nice, for everyone you meet needs more sleep."

3. Do frequent, small acts of kindness for your significant other. It's the little things that make your partner feel loved and appreciated. A marriage researcher from University of Michigan studied 373 over the course of 28 years and found that these frequent, small acts of kindness resulted in overall relationship quality and happiness. So, go write your love a small note, or make them some breakfast. It will make both of you happy.

4. Talk about something funny from the past. Laughter truly is the best thing for any relationship, and it has been found that reminiscing together about funny things is even better than focusing on just positive memories. Laughter can help you relive those moments and give higher relationship satisfaction.

5. Exercise! I am pretty sure this is on any list that talks about improving any facet of life. And we all know why! Working up a good sweat increases those endorphins, and leads to a rush of adrenaline and arousal. So channel that arousal into a good time with your love! Which leads me to the next point...

6. Have sex in a different place. It's good to switch it up every once and awhile, and new experiences elevate your levels of dopamine, which is a positive reinforcer. Don't worry, there is no need to go wild and do it in a public bathroom or coat closet at a holiday party (although if that is your thing, more power to you!) — simply finding a new room can do the trick.

7. Try new things together. Learn to cook an exotic dish. Play a silly game together. Go explore a new place in the area you live. The activity can be big or small, but the point is that couples who frequently experience new things together are shown to have higher-quality relationships.

8. Give each other hugs. Touching is extremely important in letting your partner know they are loved and it allows you to feel more comfortable with one another. It also has a calming effect, and increases intimacy.

9. Talk about new ideas. We all get caught up in the humdrum of everyday life; work, kids, family, friends, etc. Sometimes we forget to have captivating discussions or don't have the time, so find a moment to strike up an interesting conversation. Ask engaging questions and try to learn something new about your partner. We change over time, so it is essential to have good chats and reintroduce your current likes and thoughts.

10. Say thank you. If you are anything like me, I expect my husband to read my mind. And that includes him sensing my gratitude for him! But, that is silly! It is incredibly important to express our appreciation for our loved one. It makes them feel important and of worth, and lifting each other up is one of the most valuable characteristics of any solid relationship.
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19 Comments:

At October 29, 2014 at 5:10 AM , Blogger Holly @ Happiness This Hour said...

Great reminder to focus on the little things when building something big!

 
At October 29, 2014 at 10:17 AM , Blogger Good Life Blog said...

Love these good ideas! Thank you for sharing!

 
At October 29, 2014 at 10:29 AM , Blogger Shannon Boyce said...

This is such a perfect list. Thanks!
the-creationofbeauty.blogspot.com

 
At October 29, 2014 at 10:41 AM , Blogger Caroline McKell said...

First, that picture of you and Matt is absolutely adorable. It really shows how your love for each other has grown and matured since our college days. Married love is such a beautiful thing.

Also, this is a fantastic list and oh so true! Thanks for the reminders :)

 
At October 29, 2014 at 12:00 PM , Blogger Brooklyn Jolley said...

Going to bed at the same time was hard at first for us. I got to bed early and he stays up late. Now we've found a compromising time and go to bed together every night :)

 
At October 29, 2014 at 12:20 PM , Blogger Ciel Belle said...

Love this - thanks for the tips!

 
At October 29, 2014 at 1:13 PM , Blogger Kezia Monet said...

Saying "thank you" is huge for my husband! You can see his entire disposition change, when I am just grateful for the little things he does.

 
At October 29, 2014 at 4:52 PM , Blogger Mabel said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At October 29, 2014 at 4:53 PM , Blogger Mabel said...

Hey Abbey, I loved this entry. It's really great to find this kind of information when we live in world consumed by material things, work and gossip. I'm gonna translate it to Spanish to post it to my personal Facebook page as a note, but don't worry, I'm giving you credit for it and linking your website on the post, so maybe you will be receiving hits from Puerto Rico (You should come visit, it's beautiful). You know what? Maybe I will start soon my own blog, WHO KNOWS! Take care. :)

 
At October 30, 2014 at 4:47 AM , Blogger Hollands Reverie said...

great ideas. I would love to start doing more random acts of kindness, small gifts, sweet gestures. I can get so busy with wee ones and myself, so I would love to do better at showing him how much he means to us!

www.hollandsreverie.blogspot.com

 
At November 1, 2014 at 7:46 PM , Blogger Abbey Rodriguez said...

That is such a perfect and succinct way to put it, Holly! xo

 
At November 1, 2014 at 7:46 PM , Blogger Abbey Rodriguez said...

Thank you for reading! :)

 
At November 1, 2014 at 7:46 PM , Blogger Abbey Rodriguez said...

Thanks, Shannon! xo

 
At November 1, 2014 at 7:46 PM , Blogger Abbey Rodriguez said...

Awww, Caroline! This comment made me beam. What a beautiful thing married is, indeed! Hope you and Aaron are doing well! xo

 
At November 1, 2014 at 7:47 PM , Blogger Abbey Rodriguez said...

Dude, it's the WORST! Or I should say I am the worst. Any tips for finding that sweet spot of bedtime? We are still working on that one ;)

 
At November 1, 2014 at 7:48 PM , Blogger Abbey Rodriguez said...

You are welcome, Ciel! xo

 
At November 1, 2014 at 7:48 PM , Blogger Abbey Rodriguez said...

I completely agree. I have found that saying "thank you" is really beneficial when I am feeling irritated with Matt. Gratitude goes a long way!

 
At November 1, 2014 at 7:50 PM , Blogger Abbey Rodriguez said...

Wow, Mabel, thank you so much for your words! I am honored that you are sharing it. And yes! Absolutely start a blog! I think it is a wonderful outlet for self-discovery and creativity.

 
At November 1, 2014 at 7:50 PM , Blogger Abbey Rodriguez said...

We should start a RAK idea group! I need to do more little things like that, too. Getting notes and little surprises is one of the best things.

 

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