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Along Abbey Road | A Lifestyle And Family Blog : Hurt

4.11.2012

Hurt



I don't know where else to turn, and I have always been one to write out my thoughts as a form of therapy. Maybe I should share this, maybe I shouldn't, but I feel it needs to be put out there.

Today I was on the receiving end of a bitter attack against this blog. Yes, it was somewhat deserved because I am sarcastic 90% of the time, can have a sharp tongue, and have been known to make snarky comments, however unintentional they may be. These comments went on to say that my family is "fugly", my style is hideous, I am ugly, and that I am a snotty, shallow, wannabe Rockstar Diaries and Daybook blogger.

Yes, I draw inspiration from those two blogs. I identify with them and consider myself to have similar style. Am I purposely living my life in a copycat mold of them? Not at all. I did not have a baby because they did. I am not an LDS mom interested in style simply because they are. I started this blog to document my personal style long before I knew of their existence. I do not wear colored skinny jeans, lipstick, and reader glasses solely because they do. I didn't realize Naomi had a patent on that look. And sorry I like hardwood floors and vintage things. Pretty sure I hopped on that trend in 2008, an entire 3 years before I started a blog of my own or even started reading them.

Do I use their outfits as inspiration for my own looks? Of course. That is why I read their blogs. I try to surround myself with things I like and that make me feel happy. Isn't that why anyone reads a blog? Is it wrong of me to have the courage to put my life out there into cyberspace, in hopes of inspiring someone else and sharing the things I love? That's why I blog.

I sat in tears when I read all of the hateful, disgusting comments people wrote about me. Did I deserve it? Maybe I did deserve to be put in my place about making underhanded comments about strangers and being hypocritical, but attacking my innocent family? And negatively remarking on my looks, not knowing that I had just had a baby two weeks prior?

The ability of humans to destroy and belittle is powerful. I think it is something we don't realize to be as toxic as it is until we are on the other end of it.

Unfortunately, we all experience these situations at one point in life or another. It is my sincere hope and prayer that we can all be cordial and kind to one another, and to find the power to forgive. That's the only way to get through it. I forgive the people that have hurt me and maimed my esteem, and I am sincerely sorry to those I have cheaply attacked and hurt.

This isn't even the worst part of the day, but that is something personal that I really can't discuss nor do I want to put out onto the internet at this fragile time.

Thanks for reading this therapeutic writing blip. I feel much better now and aim to end this day on a positive note!

41 Comments:

At April 11, 2012 at 7:47 PM , Blogger AmandaRose said...

It's quite easy for people to hid behind a computer screen and say nasty things that they would never say to your face.

Your family is beautiful, I love your pictures and your style (which I actually think is quite original and adorable). Keep putting yourself out there, I'm sorry you had such a down day, a piece of chocolate and cup of tea before bed usually puts me in a good state of mind before I sleep :)

hugs mama,

Amanda

pocketsofroses

 
At April 11, 2012 at 7:49 PM , Blogger Amanda said...

We are glad you turned here, we really do care. I just don't understand the people out there who take time to hurt others and who are spiteful, just because. IT'S WRONG. and mean. I am very new to this whole blogging thing, and let me just say, we are all in this together. No one is first, or better, or more deserving than anyone else. Keep your chin up girl. I am a new follower, and I am loving every little nook and cranny of your blog and beautiful family.

xo, Amanda

http://mamawatters.blogspot.com

 
At April 11, 2012 at 7:52 PM , Blogger Sierra said...

This makes ME angry and I am not even personally involved. I am so sorry that you had to be on the receiving end of these statements. I actually had a similar situation this week, but from a friend (or a so called friend) who did it in real life. I'm not sure which one is worse.
You should never feel like you deserve that kind of treatment. Ever. And the fact that people think they can write things like that and get away with it because it's on the internet, does not make it any better. Your blog is to express YOU. Who cares if you get some inspiration from other blogs?
Keep on keeping' on. People suck sometimes. 'm really sarcastic and dry too. I tend to hurt people's feelings often, when in reality I am int he kindest person ever. This blog isn't for anyone else except for yourself.
If it's any consolation, I love your blog!
xo,
Sierra

 
At April 11, 2012 at 7:52 PM , Blogger jkwareham said...

You are wonderful! And to those awful people I say "Stop it!".
Thank you for your delightful words and fabulous style. Keep up the hard work Abbey!

Xo
Kellee

 
At April 11, 2012 at 7:52 PM , Blogger Britt*Secondhand Magpie said...

Let people say what they will. Some writers, myself included, like sarcasm, dry humor and wit. And they use in their writing, just as they do in their everyday life. Some people can't handle that, or don't respond well to it. Usually the ones that take themselves much too seriously.

People can be cruel, and that's their personal problem. No one deserves to be treated like that.

The beauty of blogging is if people don't like what you write, then they don't have to read it. Easy as that. But if they choose to continue reading, then they choose to take in what you write. They also are allowed to make their judgments.

As far as attacking you and your family personally, I say block the bastards. If they hate on you and make that business public on YOUR blog, block it. Again, remember that this is YOUR blog and YOU choose what content is on it. Bottom line.

You can't please everyone all the time. But you sure can choose what you do about those that aim to hurt.

I, if this carries any weight, think you're adorable and look freaking amazing for having had a baby two weeks ago. I don't think I've ever gotten that cute in my life, and my biggest claim to nurturing anything are my dogs. La dee da.

And one more thing: remember, people see your blog and what you say, but it's a very small snippet of your real life. These people don't really know you, which makes you easy to take aim at. It's much harder to hurt those we know and love. Blogging can give a false sense of intimacy and they have some twisted idea that they know you well enough to judge, and talk shit.

The more you expose yourself, the more people are going to form opinions of you.

Bottom line: You and your family are gorgeous, and screw the haters. Most likely, they're unhappy and bitter about something in their lives and you happened to be in their line of sight.

 
At April 11, 2012 at 7:58 PM , Blogger The Mrs. and The Momma said...

Abbs....(I'm gonna call you that 'cause we're friends)...shake them haters off. Seriously, who do they think they are? I agree with Britt...this is your space, your blog, your life. If they want to write horrible things about you...that's their problem and most likely their issues stemming from jealousy. I know it's hard to face that kind of stuff, but remember who you are. None of your loyal readers will be influenced by that, and will most likely come to your defense. I'm glad you were able to get it out in writing...it does help so much to move on from it once it's put in coherent thoughts. I hope you feel better and can feel the love everyone has for you! Hugs! -Kristen

 
At April 11, 2012 at 8:09 PM , Blogger Megan Marie said...

yikes.... i'm sure if naomi and sydney read your blog they'd be flattered that you read theirs and enjoy their style. after all, everybody gets ideas from each other.

you're beautiful. be happy!

xo

 
At April 11, 2012 at 8:11 PM , OpenID livingwiththebirds said...

I'm new to your blog, but I've enjoyed the content I've read very much.

You're beautiful, and you should always be true to yourself -- even if someone else is already doing something you want to do.

As children we want to be cool so we copy the "cool kids" and we abandon our self. Somewhere along the line we decide it's "cool" to be "unique" so we abandon ourselves in favor of being unique. Don't let some hurtful comments convince you that this is the way life should be.

Be yourself, no matter what.

 
At April 11, 2012 at 8:41 PM , Blogger the creation of beauty is art. said...

I really wish there weren't people out there like that. It sickens me that someone would go out of their way to be negative, hurtful, and say things that are entirely untrue, specifically to hurt you. It's absolutely disgusting. I am so sorry that you had to deal with that. Just remember that there are so so many people that adore what you do. It always brings a smile to my face when I see that you've posted. I hope that matters more than one awful, jealous person. <3
the-creationofbeauty.blogspot.com

 
At April 11, 2012 at 8:48 PM , Blogger Shawna Faye said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry! I really wonder what makes people get online and start attacking others, especially when they target bloggers who are only trying to share a little bit of happiness whether in the form of pictures, outfit posts, funny stories, etc. All I can think is that these people are really unhappy themselves and can't stand to see others being happy. I've had people say similar things to me and it is so hurtful.

And I really hate it when people tell me that I'm copying someone. Sometimes a lot of people like the same things. It doesn't mean that we are all copying each other. It just means that it's a trend.

For the record, I love your blog, style, wit, humor, and all the photos of your little family. Carry on.

 
At April 11, 2012 at 8:54 PM , Blogger kelsey marie* said...

It's so sad that we as people sometimes choose to use our abilities in a negative way rather than trying to make a positive impact. I am sorry you've been hurt. I think you seem like a very genuine person who is very naturally beautiful. I love reading your blog. It's one of my favorites.

Keep your chin up, pretty girl.

 
At April 11, 2012 at 9:23 PM , Blogger Lil' Bit and Nan said...

Abbey, you are beautiful. You are your own unique soul. There is nothing wrong with being inspired by others. Everyone pulls inspirations from someone else. No one is original on the outside, we are only original on the inside. We all have unique quirks that makes us all different. What a boring world it would be if we were all the same. I don't know why you were attacked. It's not right and you did NOT deserve it. It was a low move on their part and they could have kept their feelings to themselves. Blogging about your life can certainly reel in some weirdos. We all take that risk. I hope your days get better and you can move past this and become a stronger person from this.
Love, Bethany

 
At April 11, 2012 at 9:47 PM , Blogger Kendall said...

I am so sorry that this happened. People are so brave through their computer screens. You are right to be as positive as possible- who cares what those people say. Look how many people love and support you through the blog. I love your style, I love your posts, I love YOUR blog because it is unique and original. Don't let anyone tell you different. ever.

-kendall
songbirdsandbuttons.blogspot.com

 
At April 11, 2012 at 9:49 PM , Blogger Steph @ Crafting in the Rain said...

Aw, hugs girl! I know you didn't write this just so that people would come tell you how beautiful you are. ;) But really, I think you're lovely and your baby is just adorable! I'm sorry you've been hurt--hope you feel better soon!

 
At April 11, 2012 at 10:11 PM , Blogger Lauren Smith said...

Girl, the internet is the worst. But seriously. Your blog is great and I love your writing.

 
At April 11, 2012 at 10:20 PM , Blogger kates new life said...

There will always be jealous haters who have nothing else to do but try to make everyone as miserable as they are. Remember misery loves company. You have an adorable family and are so blessed. Don't let what someone says about you ruin your day, that's their problem. Don't let them make it yours. Besides if they don't like your blog, nobody is forcing them to read it. So adios to them! Now back to that regularly scheduled blog of yours that I love! :). Hang in there chickie, everything's good.

 
At April 11, 2012 at 10:24 PM , Blogger Sarah said...

Aw i'm sorry you had to read that. It's never fun. Dont' ever feel like you have to explain yourself. This is YOUR blog and nothing is 100% original. Everyone draws inspiration from everyone else. I'm sure Naomi and anyone else you draw inspiration from would be so flattered. Besides you aren't alone. Almost all bloggers ar doing the same thing. Whoever that was was just an unhappy negative person who felt the need to spread the unhappiness.

- Sarah
agirlintransit.blogspot.com

 
At April 11, 2012 at 10:24 PM , Blogger Sarah said...

Aw i'm sorry you had to read that. It's never fun. Dont' ever feel like you have to explain yourself. This is YOUR blog and nothing is 100% original. Everyone draws inspiration from everyone else. I'm sure Naomi and anyone else you draw inspiration from would be so flattered. Besides you aren't alone. Almost all bloggers ar doing the same thing. Whoever that was was just an unhappy negative person who felt the need to spread the unhappiness.

- Sarah
agirlintransit.blogspot.com

 
At April 11, 2012 at 10:56 PM , Blogger Megan said...

This is one of the most well-written posts I have come across. You have articulated your feelings so clearly. It's a shame that there's so much negativity in the world but all we can do is try to ignore it I guess (I know, easier said than done unfortunately). I haven't read many of your posts but I can usually pick up on the sarcasm when you make certain remarks. Sometimes when it comes to sarcasm though, people can take it so differently to how it was intended, that's the danger in writing. The words can't be heard. I hope you don't let this affect you though.

Megan @ Storybook Love Affair

 
At April 11, 2012 at 11:42 PM , OpenID intowestafrica said...

There seems to be a lot of that lately - vicious attackers on bloggers I follow. I have a hard time understanding how someone can spread so much hate and I often wonder, had they spent their time doing something meaningful, what a difference they could make in the world - and a positive one at that?
I enjoy your blog and I love you sarcasm and I like that you are open about your life. Hang in there!

 
At April 12, 2012 at 12:09 AM , Blogger Daisy said...

I absolutely LOVE your blog and you and your family are adorable!
No idea why people would turn nasty, some of them just find it fun to bring others down. I read an article not that long ago about the rise of online bullies, and that's exactly what these people who posted nasty things on your blog are...BULLIES!
Don't give them the satisfaction they want by bringing you down, they are not worth it.
We are all here for you Abbey and you are wonderful, keep doing exactly what it is you are doing, because you are great at it!
Hugs xxx

 
At April 12, 2012 at 4:18 AM , Blogger Alyx said...

1. You are awesome.
2. You are one HAWT momma.
3. Your style is rockin'
4. Whoever said that to you is mean and doesn't know what they're missin' out on with your blog.
5. Your family is adorable, and it is obvious that you love them and they love you.
6. Haters gon' hate and keep on drinking the haterade, even though it tastes disgusting and makes their hearts black/cold/nonexistent, turning them into ugly, hateful, monsters who make themselves feel better by putting you down. You are beautiful - don't let the haterade have negative side effects on you, too!

Lurve you!!

 
At April 12, 2012 at 4:28 AM , Blogger Ronida said...

I just think if people have negative ideas about something, they can freely go away. If they are uncomfortable of anything you write on your blog, it's so easy to just not read it. They don't have to be cruel. I love your blog and know that an incredible crowd over here loves you too!

~Ronida
funandruins.blogspot.com

 
At April 12, 2012 at 5:20 AM , Blogger Elisha(: said...

DONT LISTEN. The best thing to do is to not listen, because we alllll know your family is THE CUTEST. your style? CUTEEE. and you? KIND, SWEET, GORGEOUS, FUNNY, AND LOVING!! I love you, and look up to you more than you know!! dont let those people get you down... :) and if you are down...come talk to me!!! (: <3

 
At April 12, 2012 at 5:39 AM , Blogger Nicole said...

Don't stop what you are doing! I LOVE reading your blog and it has put a smile on my face more times than I can count. Seriously, if I need a "pick me up" I can just turn to your blog. I love reading about you and your family, love your style and love your blog!!!! People who lash out like that typically have their own insecurities they need to work out. Don't let them pull you down, but instead rise above them and keep doing what you do!!!

 
At April 12, 2012 at 6:17 AM , Blogger Miss Jewells said...

I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you. It sickens me to think of the hurtful things people do and say to people who don't deserve to be treated that way. I haven't been a regular commenter but have been following your blog for a while now. I hope you know that those hurtful people are only a select group of the blogosphere, and an unimportant group. You're true to yourself, your faith, and your family, and that's admirable. Try not to let them get you down; there are lots of us out here who have your back and will prove them wrong!

 
At April 12, 2012 at 7:10 AM , Blogger Dressed Up Mom said...

I am so, so sorry that someone was so hateful to you and said horrible things about your family. That is pretty low. I love your blog and visit regularly. You have unique and fabulous style. I too just had a baby boy 7 weeks ago. Your baby boy is just a cutie pie. Keep your chin up!

 
At April 12, 2012 at 7:35 AM , Blogger eighteenthofmay said...

I love your blog and I think you are so funny! I just came on your blog to say thankyou for the skirt I won in your giveaway- they sent it all the way to England! I hope that you don't get too down and upset by mean people's comments- your family is beautiful and your blog is absolutely your own :) I love hearing about your adventures with you little boy and I love your rockin' outfit posts! You rock, Abbey! :)

Say x
eighteenthofmay.blogspot.com

 
At April 12, 2012 at 7:44 AM , Blogger Katie said...

I think this is ridiculous! I love your wit (and sarcasm).
Keep it up!

 
At April 12, 2012 at 8:37 AM , Blogger StRod said...

Lame!!! This makes me super sad...and I'm actually sad for the people who said negative things about you and our family. They must be unhappy and that is a hard way to live. Keep being you. I love you sooooo much. I love that you love my brother and are the amazing mama to my newest lil nephew lil Luke. Miss you!!! Xoxo

 
At April 12, 2012 at 8:37 AM , Blogger Sierra said...

This is ridiculous and I am so sorry it happened to you. I'm a new reader to your blog, but there is a reason that I became a follower. I enjoy your sense of humor and your style. If I thought you were a complete rip-off of another blogger, I wouldn't have become a follower in the first place.

I completely agree with Britt when she said that if someone doesn't appreciate/enjoy your blog's content, they don't have to read it. There's no reason to post negative comments. There really isn't.

As my mom would say, "Bitches be crazy." (my mom is awesome) Just put those negative comments out of your mind, because you are lovely.

xo. Sierra

http://viennawaitsblog.blogspot.com/

 
At April 12, 2012 at 8:57 AM , Blogger Always Maylee said...

Ugh, haters will hate. You're beautiful and even though I only recently found your blog, I've really been enjoying reading it. Plus, I also read the Daybook and I don't really think you and her have similar styles. And if by similar styles, they meant you are both women who wear clothes and have babies, well then ok. But come on... fashion blogs are meant to give people inspiration, isn't that the whole point? Keep your head up, and keep blogging! :)

xo, Yi-chia
Always Maylee

 
At April 12, 2012 at 10:17 AM , Blogger Lottie said...

I hate the haters who made you feel this way--and they just hide behind their computer screens saying mean things about your family: such cowards.

I think your blog is amazing and inspiring and funny. Forget about them, they are not worth it.

And your family is beautiful.

 
At April 12, 2012 at 11:24 AM , Blogger Shug in Boots said...

Here is what gets me: IT IS A BLOG AND IT'S SOMETHING PEOPLE CAN CHOOSE TO READ OR CHOOSE NOT TO READ. What the hell is going on in their life that they have nothing better to do than read something they apparently hate? Painfully ironic. Just like a child, they want to turn their own pain/jealousy around on someone else. **** them. ;)

 
At April 12, 2012 at 1:42 PM , Blogger David and Liz Barham said...

I love your blog. I love your sense of humor and I'm sorry that you have a hater. Screw them because 1 hater doesn't even come close to all the people that love and are inspired by your blog. Keep up exactly as you are love.

Liz

 
At April 12, 2012 at 8:08 PM , Blogger Lauryn Moon Donat said...

Keep blogging! I enjoy reading your posts. I think they are very funny. And I enjoy seeing your fashion- I am impressed that you get what I call dressed up everyday with a baby. I only do that on the days that I work! And I know half of your family and think they are great. I don't know why people have to be so mean- they should just stop reading!

 
At April 13, 2012 at 9:45 AM , Blogger pollydove said...

You hit on something very poignant in this post - I think people often blog for the very purpose of sharing ideas, sending out positive vibes, sharing their style, etc. and if we learn or gain something from them - FANTASTIC! We all get inspiration and ideas from other sources! Why do we buy home magazines? To copy their ideas! Why do we buy fashion magazines? To see what the latest trends are.

I'm so sorry you had to hear such negative comments, and you can't help but be hurt by them. BOO!!!! But just go ahead and feel sorry for the haters - they must be miserable people, right?

You are darling, your baby is darling, your blog is darling, your style is darling and I (for one) am amazed by your confidence! That is something I never had at your age and would have loved to back then.

SO YOU GO GIRL!!!!

 
At April 13, 2012 at 4:37 PM , Blogger The Becks said...

From one of your biggest fans who has known you literally your entire life I love you! You are one of a kind. There is not a single other person out there like you. You may look like an Olsen twin but there is only 1 Abbey!

Whoever wrote the things they did were most likely unhappy with their own style/life/relationships/success/reflection in the mirror! Jealously comes in many different vicious forms.

Your style: Ever since you were a little girl you have had your own sense of style. Whether it is the unique way you accessorize a trendy outfit or whether you wear something that is style all your own and simply isn't being worn by anyone else, you have always pulled it off beautifully. I have always admired the way you just don't care what other people think. If it looks good, it looks good. That confidence in and of itself is beautiful and attractive. Quick example: your wedding dress. You could have picked a dress just like all of the other 9 million brides picked... but you didn't. Sure all of the other brides that season looked cute, but they certainly didn't look original. You went with your own style and you were breathtaking. Talk about bombshell. Case and point.

Your sarcasm and wit: You were born with sarcasm on your lips! You were sarcastic before you could even talk. You came with a TON of attitude. That's you.

Your family: I don't think there is a cuter little boy on the face of this planet. He has an aunt who is dying to see him and shower him with kisses. As for that hubby of yours: You did good sista!

You: I just so happened to be in "the geographical center of the universe" this past week and myself and your Mother happened to have a lengthy conversation about how beautiful you are. I consider this a good problem, but you have so many beautiful pictures of yourself on your blog, it makes it hard for me to narrow them down for the calendar.

Your writing: You, Brett and Brady have a serious talent!

Grab your determination, your sass, your style and grit and carry on!

To the ornery people who wrote that crap (they are probably ugly bi***** sitting at their computers on their fat a****) they can go to hell. The sooner the better.

I love you!

PS- Don't ever let Mom read this. I would get my mouth washed out with soap!

 
At April 14, 2012 at 9:41 PM , Blogger steph nelsen said...

pray for those people...it must be somebody seriously hurting and unhappy that would attack an innocent blogger. bravo to you for having the courage and taking the time to share parts of your life with us. i enjoy your blog and have pinned a few outfit posts of yours because i want to copy you copying sydney, haha, just kidding. style is so versatile that its seems impossible to copy really. like recipes...you can follow a recipe, but don't we all substitute what we have on hand, omit what we don't care for, and add our own touch of spice? to me, getting dressed in the morning is the same creative process. inspiration does not equal imitation.

 
At April 16, 2012 at 3:20 PM , Blogger LBR said...

Ah! This breaks my heart. I just recently found your blog and loved it immediately. All bloggers share ideas and the fact that we all even have a blog means you're probably gonna find some similarities in our personalities as well. So sad that someone out there threw daggers your way. I know that no matter how many great things you hear, it's the bad ones that somehow stick. Don't let them! Envy brings out the worst in people and you have too much going for you to let their worst try to steal your best from you!

 
At April 16, 2012 at 5:53 PM , Blogger Brooke said...

I'm so sorry that someone foolish attacked you. that's not why we blog is it? We blog to be inspired and build community and friendship. If Sydney (so lovely) inspires you, rock on! I'm glad you're not giving up on the blog world because of the STUIPD close minded individuals out there who would choose to make themselves feel better by putting you down!

p.s. your baby is GORGEOUS!!! :)
xo. your newest follower

 

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