Hurt

I don't know where else to turn, and I have always been one to write out my thoughts as a form of therapy. Maybe I should share this, maybe I shouldn't, but I feel it needs to be put out there.

Today I was on the receiving end of a bitter attack against this blog. Yes, it was somewhat deserved because I am sarcastic 90% of the time, can have a sharp tongue, and have been known to make snarky comments, however unintentional they may be. These comments went on to say that my family is "fugly", my style is hideous, I am ugly, and that I am a snotty, shallow, wannabe Rockstar Diaries and Daybook blogger.

Yes, I draw inspiration from those two blogs. I identify with them and consider myself to have similar style. Am I purposely living my life in a copycat mold of them? Not at all. I did not have a baby because they did. I am not an LDS mom interested in style simply because they are. I started this blog to document my personal style long before I knew of their existence. I do not wear colored skinny jeans, lipstick, and reader glasses solely because they do. I didn't realize Naomi had a patent on that look. And sorry I like hardwood floors and vintage things. Pretty sure I hopped on that trend in 2008, an entire 3 years before I started a blog of my own or even started reading them.

Do I use their outfits as inspiration for my own looks? Of course. That is why I read their blogs. I try to surround myself with things I like and that make me feel happy. Isn't that why anyone reads a blog? Is it wrong of me to have the courage to put my life out there into cyberspace, in hopes of inspiring someone else and sharing the things I love? That's why I blog.

I sat in tears when I read all of the hateful, disgusting comments people wrote about me. Did I deserve it? Maybe I did deserve to be put in my place about making underhanded comments about strangers and being hypocritical, but attacking my innocent family? And negatively remarking on my looks, not knowing that I had just had a baby two weeks prior?

The ability of humans to destroy and belittle is powerful. I think it is something we don't realize to be as toxic as it is until we are on the other end of it.

Unfortunately, we all experience these situations at one point in life or another. It is my sincere hope and prayer that we can all be cordial and kind to one another, and to find the power to forgive. That's the only way to get through it. I forgive the people that have hurt me and maimed my esteem, and I am sincerely sorry to those I have cheaply attacked and hurt.

This isn't even the worst part of the day, but that is something personal that I really can't discuss nor do I want to put out onto the internet at this fragile time.

Thanks for reading this therapeutic writing blip. I feel much better now and aim to end this day on a positive note!